Monday, August 2, 2010

Overheard in Ironforge One Day

NPC #1: "Seriously... it's the mother of all scams. I'm telling you, this one's pure gold."

NPC #2: "Nothing's that good."

NPC #1: "Oh, yeah? Look, here comes one of 'em now. Just watch..."

(NPC #1 staightens up and puts on a stern look.)

NPC #1: "Greetings, oh noble Dwarf! How may I be of assistance?"

PC: "Yeah, I was looking for a new head enchantment..."

NPC #1: "Speak no more! Oh noble Paladin, I am sure that you have earned justly deserved fame and accolades from others for your efforts. It is that reputation that has opened the doors to the... um... ORDER of the SAVAGE FANG and, um... RED CLAW."

NPC #2: "Oh, brother..."

NPC #1: (aside) *Shhh!*

PC: "Wait, what?"

NPC #1: "The ORDER of the SAVAGE FANG and RED CLAW."

PC: "Order? Oh, cool! A new faction!"

NPC #1: "Indeed, my friend... but woe! Though your appearance is as one of divine promise, until we of the Order are certain of your commitment and intentions, we cannot..."

PC: "Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course. Just point me in the right direction, would ya?"

(NPC #1 hands a map over to PC, and they both look it over.)

NPC #1: "There... see, over past the mountain? Can't miss it. Large cave complex. Ogres running around like they own the place. Off the buggers repeatedly, rifle through their pockets, and bring back anything unusual you might find."

PC: "Unusual?"

NPC #1: "Yep. You'll know it when you see it, m'kay? It's the key *wink* *wink* to my problems."

PC: "The... OH! Yeah! Sure thing! See you in a week or two!"

(PC wanders off, singing a jaunty little killing tune.)

NPC #2: "Holy cow!"

NPC #1: "See? I told you. Offer 'em a quest, and they're all like 'Wah, wah, I'm level 80, I don't need to do this stuff anymore. Go take a long walk off a short pier, looser.' Tell 'em you're some secret order, though, and they'll run off and dig through fel hound poop for two weeks straight just to get in your good graces. Pick up some cheap crap from NPCs-R-Us to hand out, slap some new labels on it, and they'll even keep coming back for more!"

NPC #2: "That's... man, that's amazing! You really think it'll work?"

NPC #1: "Definitely. He'll find your car keys in no time."

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