I'm tellin' you, man...

They're after me.

No, no, listen, this time I mean it, man. They really are after me.

C'mon, man, stop laughing and... do you want me to tell you this or not?

OK.

I was in Tol Barad last night, man, when I saw it.

What? No, I wasn't!

Dude! It's Tol Barad. That's, like, a majorly bad place to even think about something like that. Around those spiders? Baaaaaad trip, man.

I mean, I had a little fairy cake, and I was munchin' on some pickled guppies, and maybe I had a hit or two off of some fungus squeezings, but I swear, that was it, man.

So I'm over by the spiders, and... oh, man, like I said, baaaaaad trip time. I've got these creepy crawlies all over me, and I'm nuking 'em down, and when I'm done... I turn around, and there it is.

Staring at me, man.

I mean, the whole island is crawling with undead. There's like, half a dozen of each kind of ghost, ghoul, and zombie all over the place. Then there's the spiders, and the sharks, and the Horde, and don't even get me started on those nuts in the Keep or down in town.

Do I get one of them? Nooooooooooooooooo.

I turn around, and it's staring at me, man. It's staring at me.

The freakin' cinderbloom is staring at me.

Stop laughing, man, I'm serious!

So I'm looking at it, and then... and then... it leans over and waves it's stems around at me.

And it hits me! There's a freakin' cinderbloom staring at me and whacking me on the ankle!

So, yeah, I'm totally kind of freaked out at this point.

I mean, I'm figuring that I must have gotten too much spider venom on me or something, right? So I head towards the water to kind of, you know, get washed off...

... and the freakin' cinderbloom follows me!

Oh, yeah. You just keep on laughing.

Get it all out of your system, cause I'm telling you, this isn't like the last time, with the talking trees. Or the time before that, with the rock that wanted to be my friend. Or... like any of the other times, man.

This time, I've got proof.

Norman Finally Gets It!

Shamus is apparently almost ready to become a quest designer for Blizzard.

"Oh," he realizes. "That. Fine. How much for the potion?"

"Well, I'll need some crystal kelp fronds," Pestle says.

"I don't want to know what goes in it. I have a weak stomach. Just make it up and I'll run it back to her," Norman says.

"No, I'm saying I need you to go and get crystal kelp fronds for me."

"Oh right," Norman says bitterly. "I wouldn't expect an apothecary to have exotic things like ingredients. Let me guess, I have to run to Stormwind and buy it, only that guy won't have a bag to put it in, so I'll have to run to Ironforge to get a Dwarven paper sack. But they're out of paper, so I'll have to sail to Darnassus, where I'll find out that the paper-maker is out of wood pulp, so I'll have to venture through the Dark Portal and find the special tree of--"

While the entire series is good, the picture of Bolivar at the start of this particular installment is... particularly worthy.

You Are Not Prepared!

Larisa isn't prepared for Cataclysm, and you know what?

Neither am I.

And it's intentional.

Well, kind of intentional. I've been stockpiling bolts of netherweave with an eye towards cranking out some bags to help equip the new wave of alts post-Cata. That's about it, though.

Believe it or not, I play this game for pleasure and enjoyment. I've spent the last week or so banging out code and knocking out bugs at work, and when I want to relax, the last thing I want to do it follow a checklist. I've been having a blast exploring the changes in Azeroth, doing the new quest chains, and generally just wandering where I will and doing what I want.

I'm not going to change that when Cataclysm comes out.

I don't know what the vast majority of the quests are until I find them myself.

I don't know what the new zones will be like, except in the most abstract sense.

I don't know what the new dungeons will be like, again, except in the most general terms.

Yeah, when I go to run a Cata dungeon for the first time, I'll read up on it so I won't be a burden to my fellow players. That's about it, though. I'll decide when to run the dungeon based on when it will be fun for me to do so, not when it's the optimal leveling choice in terms of XP and gear.

I'm not going to rush through the content to get to level 85. I'll get there, but it won't be because I've ground out XP the most efficient leveling mobs for 8 hours. It will be because I've done enough fun and interesting stuff that happens to give me enough XP to hit 85.

Also... while I don't really RP in-game, I do have some sense of who my characters are. In game terms, they're looking around, wondering what in the name of the Light is happening right now. They're out doing what they've always done, as heroes: they're exploring, they're investigating, they're helping others. There's no reason any of them would be stockpiling potions or mats or heavy frostweave bandages, for crying out loud. None of them have even so much as seen Deathwing.

The scope of the Cataclysm is not yet apparent to them.

Which is, in all honesty, probably just a convenient excuse for me to be a slacker (though not one of Gevlon's slackers, thank you very much) and do what I want to do instead of what someone else says I should do. I'll hit 85 eventually. I'll run dungeons eventually. I'll be raiding, and even PvPing in the new battlegrounds.

Eventually.

Right now, though, there's too much fun to be had it not knowing what's around the next corner.

You Can't Have Everything

ObOOTS: Elan's father explains the rationale behind being evil.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I feel badly - between work, the Shattering, and the holiday, I've been overwhelmed. I've been having a blast just re-exploring the Old World. Two words, really, manage to sum up and express the level of fan-boy squee that I'm experiencing:

Murloc. Babies.

Even with all that as an excuse, though, I wanted to say I'm sorry for such a long dry spell without posting. So... here, I got you something to make up for it: a real, live Thunderfury!

Well, not quite. It's actually a Nerf N-Force Thunder Fury. Hook it up to a tesla coil and watch it proc lightning!

Once.

The Union of Perfect Geekery

Len Peralta, as part of his Geek a Week project, choose as his subject this week the cartoonist Bill Amend. You may recall that Mr. Amend is the twisted mind behind the cartoon strip Foxtrot. In his own words:

Cartoonist and fellow W00tstocker Len Peralta has been doing a supercool deck of trading cards this year celebrating various geeks of note, one per week. It was a huge thrill to find out he wanted to include me as Geek #37. Knowing about my little World of Warcraft habit, he drew me as the Lich King. Thank you, Len!

New Year's resolution, maybe?

The World of Warcraft Workout: Playing on a Treadmill

Hmmmm...

Farewell, Zul'Gurub

We hardly knew ye.

(Well, I hardly knew ye. There are some people who, I am sure, are all too familiar with you.)

Apparently, come Cataclysm, Zul'Gurub is gone, boyo. Gone. As in, no more.

I wonder if Hero of the Zandalar Tribe will become a feat of strength, or if there will be new quests or a new instance for building Zandalar reputation. In any case... I'll need to get together a group and do a full run through ZG before it disappears under the waves.

Goodbye, Kitty

Last night, rather than rest easily on her laurels, Aetherna ventured out to deal with the greatest problem facing Azeroth. The Horde? It is to laugh. The Scourge? Please. The Lich King? Don't make me come over there and slap you.

Of course, I am talking about Hello Kitty, who is the herald and harbinger of the Old Gods.

Oh, you won't see HER, per se, in the game... but she's there. HER cute little mouthless visage gives it away. Can there be any conclusion other than that SHE is kin to the Faceless Horrors and Faceless Lurkers that we know to the the servants of the Old Ones? Only given eyes, that SHE might serve HER masters better. That cute little twinkle in her corrupt and eldritch orbs? Yeah, that's HER contemplating the reign of terror that is to come.

Rather than deal with the minion, though, Aeth decided to get to the root of the problem, and so found herself deep underground, venturing into the bowels of the Temple of Ahn'Qiraj. There she - along with a dozen other noble souls, wise to the corruption of Hello Kitty - took the battle to the source.

To C'Thun itself.

Pressed hard, this noble band struggled to... ah, hey, who am I kidding. Aside from a bit of confusion when dealing with The Twin Emperors, and one instance of bad positioning in C'Thun's chamber that caused an initial wipe, the Big Bad Eyeball went over like a drunken sailor with an inner ear problem.

Which left Aetherna with (a) a solid glow of satisfaction, and (b) The Temple of Ahn'Quiraj achievement. Oh, plus, you know, saving Azeroth from the depredations of pure evil incarnate. Not to mention the undying gratitude of the Brood of Nozdormu, who now, apparently... hate Aetherna slightly less than they did before she risked life, limb and sanity to confront an Old God?

Holy cow. Impressing those dragons is tough.

Hello, Kitty

No, I'm not playing a druid. Instead, this is about HER.

HER hegemony rapidly approaches. Don't believe this so-called refutation - it's painfully obvious that Hello Kitty is not just some sort of kawaii marketing icon. In fact, HER role as an emissary of the Old Gods themselves becomes clearer every day.

Since Snopes is apparently covering for HER horrible machinations, I can only conclude that the brains of their staff have already been sucked out and replaced with snappy, stylish Hello Kitty tchotchkes. If you look closely into their eyes, you'll see the faint, faint image of HER, their new master. You will recoil from that horror and turn to flee... but, of course, by then it will be too late.

Which is why I worked hard over the weekend to get Chef de Cusine and Grizzled Veteran.

The Recipe Radar addon proved to be a big help with the cooking achievement. It made it very easy to locate the 20 or so recipes I could learn off of trainers in various parts of the old world. When push came to shove, though, I was at 159/160 recipes, with two choices:

• Grind mobs in The Barrens for hours on end until my fingers bled, my eyes burned from the constant stream of tears, and the RNG finally allowed something to drop the recipie for Savory Deviate Delight, or
• Hit the neutral auction house and spend 20g or so on a Horde-only recipe.

Since I have the achievement, and am not currently a nervous, twitching, sleep-deprived shell of a man, you can guess which one I went for. After that, Grizzled Veteran was actually a bit of an anticlimax... with no horde hanging around Grizzly Hills anymore, getting these done was just a matter of finding time to bang them out.

So step #324 of the Hello Kitty survival plan is in place. I suggest you get your Chef achievement as quickly as possible. One of the first things that Hello Kitty does when SHE gets hold of your mental facilities is make it impossible to understand exactly why this achievement is so important to resisting HER. I've even heard reports that in partially assimilated future subjects, SHE impedes their visual cortex so that even the idea of @^UB#@S /{^EQQ,/#@ ^UC#@S/ ,^EQ Q}/@-1 S/{/#@ ^UR#.U 1ZJQ Z\^SC .,.+ -^SXQ -^SD is impossible to comprehend. So, don't hesitate - get your Chef achievement and QPJ0 AUTD QT+1@I/ /QIJ@ quickly!

Kickin' it Old School

Last night, one of my guild mates was in Moonglade, looking for someone to come help him with a quest. I was just fishing at the time, so I headed on over.

And stepped into a nightmare.

As I approached Nighthaven, I noticed a lone guard tangling with an elite shade. I was wondering where he came from - did somebody kite it into town? I stopped, and while the guard held aggro, I burned it down. Slowly... it was definitely one tough little monster.

Then I entered Nighthaven... and saw another shade. And wait, over there? Another one! What the... ? I made may way towards the center of town, the shades growing thicker and thicker, until I reached my guildie. Standing beside Remulos, swarmed by shades, with a bear tank helping him chip away at the apparitions.

Then Eranikus showed up.

At which point something clicked, and though I'd never done it myself, I realized he was digging his way through The Scepter of the Shifting Sands questline.

And... it... was... AWESOME.

I sincerely hope there will be something as impressive leading up to, or at the end of, Cataclysm...

Overheard in Ironforge One Day

NPC #1: "Seriously... it's the mother of all scams. I'm telling you, this one's pure gold."

NPC #2: "Nothing's that good."

NPC #1: "Oh, yeah? Look, here comes one of 'em now. Just watch..."

(NPC #1 staightens up and puts on a stern look.)

NPC #1: "Greetings, oh noble Dwarf! How may I be of assistance?"

PC: "Yeah, I was looking for a new head enchantment..."

NPC #1: "Speak no more! Oh noble Paladin, I am sure that you have earned justly deserved fame and accolades from others for your efforts. It is that reputation that has opened the doors to the... um... ORDER of the SAVAGE FANG and, um... RED CLAW."

NPC #2: "Oh, brother..."

NPC #1: (aside) *Shhh!*

PC: "Wait, what?"

NPC #1: "The ORDER of the SAVAGE FANG and RED CLAW."

PC: "Order? Oh, cool! A new faction!"

NPC #1: "Indeed, my friend... but woe! Though your appearance is as one of divine promise, until we of the Order are certain of your commitment and intentions, we cannot..."

PC: "Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course. Just point me in the right direction, would ya?"

(NPC #1 hands a map over to PC, and they both look it over.)

NPC #1: "There... see, over past the mountain? Can't miss it. Large cave complex. Ogres running around like they own the place. Off the buggers repeatedly, rifle through their pockets, and bring back anything unusual you might find."

PC: "Unusual?"

NPC #1: "Yep. You'll know it when you see it, m'kay? It's the key *wink* *wink* to my problems."

PC: "The... OH! Yeah! Sure thing! See you in a week or two!"

(PC wanders off, singing a jaunty little killing tune.)

NPC #2: "Holy cow!"

NPC #1: "See? I told you. Offer 'em a quest, and they're all like 'Wah, wah, I'm level 80, I don't need to do this stuff anymore. Go take a long walk off a short pier, looser.' Tell 'em you're some secret order, though, and they'll run off and dig through fel hound poop for two weeks straight just to get in your good graces. Pick up some cheap crap from NPCs-R-Us to hand out, slap some new labels on it, and they'll even keep coming back for more!"

NPC #2: "That's... man, that's amazing! You really think it'll work?"

NPC #1: "Definitely. He'll find your car keys in no time."

Blizzard's Server Architecture

An interesting bit of historical review and speculation by Gazimoff over at Mana Obscura, in "The Growing Yet Shrinking World".

This is for you, Gerk.

Rades relates the sad story of Gerk, a true hero.

Path of the Titans, R.I.P.

Well, I've got my answer to the question about how Path of the Titans will function in Cataclysm: it won't. Read all about it in the usual places. I won't say that this is unexpected; it seemed like a pretty big change to the game. Apparently, Blizzard is going to try and compensate for the crushing disappointment of loosing the Path of the Titans by bringing us things like better glyph management, the ability to downgrade raids, new raids, new dungeons, a new CoT instance, and something like 3,000 new quests.

3,000 new quests? Yowza. That's a nice, big, fuzzy blanket to cuddle up with while I cry into my tea over... what? Oh, yeah, Path-something-or-other. I think. Whatever! Why am I crying again? And how much can I vendor this blanket for?

If you're not champing at the bit for news about upcoming Cataclysm changes, maybe you'd be more interested in the post over at Tobold's MMORPG Blog where he discusses the idea of how to change up the MMO trinity of tank/healer/dps to make things more interesting. Follow up with The Noisy Rogue to continue that thought to the logical conclusion - what would an MMO look like if you got rid of the tank/healer roles entirely?

Geek Senses Tingling...

Cynwise has come up with something very interesting : toplogical battle maps for WoW battlegrounds.

It seems to be a unique idea. Google "topological battlefield maps". Here, I'll help you. There's her post, sitting pretty at #1. According to Wikipedia, her maps are rightly classified as examples of topological maps. Some quick searching on Google failed to turn ip any references to military use of topological maps. What references I can find seem to use "topological map" as a synonym for "topographic map", which is obviously wrong in this case.

This is the sort of thing that really grabs my attention. It's such a useful idea that I'm absolutely positive that it has to have been used, in some form or another, by the military already. I suspect that they're missing from my Google searches because I lack the proper terms to turn up the real references that would have to be lurking. Knowing the modern military mind, they're probably in use, but called "Tangential Interstitial Ground Emphasis Resources" or "von Hagen models" or something else that's unique in military jargon.

I'm croggled just thinking of the possibilities for analysis and planning that these kind of maps imply.

The Things I Thought I Knew

I've been playing WoW for almost two years, now. In that time, I've leveled two Alliance characters to 80, and I'm working on a third. I've gotten The Loremaster and World Explorer, and any number of other achievements on my main "gotta do it all" experience hound.

And I'm still running into things I've never seen before. Quests I've somehow missed, areas that - despite running around like a hyperactive ferret with ADD - I've never actually been to before. Little nooks and crannies and treats like the Dwarven mage above Starfall Village in Winterspring, or the shoe shine gnome in the "Threads of Fate" shop above Dalaran.

Two that have caught my attention recently:

Old Icefin is a Murloc in the northwest corner of Howling Fjord. He's friendly, and has a kind of melancholy quest for you - Trident of the Son. I found him while looking over quests, trying to figure out if Aeven could get I've Toured the Fjord without having to do any group quests.

Archavon's Log is something I haven't seen yet, on any of my characters. It's found in Wintergrasp, and is apparently the (sort of) diary of Archavon the Stone Watcher. Like Old Icefin's quest, the log itself is not quite what you would expect.

The little things like this don't really make the game. That's questing, and running dungeons, and raiding, and PvP. These little touches, though - they're like a hint of spice in what could easily be an otherwise bland meal. For me, at least, they're what helps keep the wonder and the "Oh, wow!" moments coming, even after years of play.

/envy

Blightborne Warplate? Meh.

Gendarme's Cuirass? Puh-lease.

Rot-Resistant Breastplate? Whatever!

You can wear those petty baubles if you want. As for me - I'm going for the truly epic loot:

I want my very own Green Linen Shirt.

/sigh

The Impending Apocalypse

Two interesting tidbits about being a theology student. One, you learn how to spell "apocalypse" correctly. Two, when you're emailing your co-worker Chris, you really need to watch your muscle memory, otherwise that extra 't' will sneak in at the end and you'll deserve the snark you get in response. Just sayin'.

Anyways, where was I? Oh, yes - the anticipated apocalypse. The coming cataclysm. The doom of Deathwing. Blizzard announced a 24 hours downtime for a big bunch of servers tomorrow, time required to upgrade them to handle the Cataclysm release. There's been some noise about the beta, some news trickling out from behind the iron walls of NDAs... but, so far, nothing about the one thing I'm really interested in:

Archaeology and The Path of the Titans.

Why such an interest? Degrees of freedom.

Let's be honest, here: WoW really doesn't have a whole lot of degrees of freedom. If you're an arcane mage, what stats are most important to you? That's going to drive your talent choices, your gear choices, how you gem and enchant, what buff foods you use and what flasks you stock. Same story, different stats for rogues, tanks, priests, druids, or what have you... it's all a question of "what stat is most important."

Now, how you get to that point involves a lot of choice. Talent for more hit? Easy enough for an Arcane mage. What if all your gear has hit on it, and you're over the cap? Ah, now you can shift around talent points. Or maybe swap out that +hit enchant for a +damage enchant. Or do both, and start scarfing +hit food before raids. Still, the basic game doesn't change. "Get to the hit cap," or defense cap, or whatever... "then start stacking X. If you can't get X, then get Y. Otherwise you really don't care."

In Wrath, Blizzard kind of dangled their toes just a leeetle bit into the DoF waters. The introduction of inscription gave them the leeway to allow a player to make some minor changes to the basics of how their character works. This was always the realm of talents, which were much more core to the character. If you were a fire mage, you were a fire mage, period. There weren't a whole lot of ways to make yourself something different and still stay a fire mage.

Glyphs (in some instances) allow for a little bit of freedom. Not a whole lot, but some. Unlike some racial and professional bonuses, they're not as immediately noticeable. They do have an effect on play style, though, and depending on your profession, there may be equally valid choices for any particular glyph or combinations of glyphs for your character. Choices that really will affect the way you play... kind of.

It's almost a real degree of freedom.

In Cataclysm, we're getting archaeology: a new profession, which at level 85 will allow you to progress down the Path of the Titans, and discover and use "Ancient" glyphs. Presumably, up until max skill, you'll still get some benefit from archaeology - maybe some bonuses that vary depending on what discoveries you make, or what your current primary professions are. Or maybe they'll take the easy way out, and just give role X +1 Y per 5 points, call it a day, and be done with it.

There's an opportunity here, though, to really give players an additional degree of freedom, or even two. To help make this fire mage different from that fire mage. Choices that involve tradeoffs that affect play style, or allow for different play styles, without giving an obvious advantage to one or another. I think that's going to come, in part, by making the talent trees less "+hit +crit +dmg" centric, and giving us more interesting abilities to play with.

What I'd really like to see is for Blizzard to overhaul the glyph system, and give us more interesting glyphs. I mean, if +1% damage talents are booooor-ing, then +1% damage glyphs are, too. Now, a glyph that fundamentally changes a talent or skill, that's fun. Glyphs that alter spell cooldowns - changing rotations - that's interesting. Glyphs that give an ability, rather than a bonus - that's neat. Glyphs that let an existing ability proc a slightly different effect (replenishment, haste buff, whatever) - those are exciting and fun.

Glyphs that give you +1% damage vs. Undead? Booooor-ing. But... a warrior glyph, "Rage Against Death" that adds a Holy damage component to your Sunder Armor ability when used against undead?

Oh, yeah. Now that could be fun.

Continuing that thought: on the Path of the Titans, I'd really like to see some class-changing ancient glyphs. Glyphs that really give you a fundamental change in how a class performs. I'm not sure how they would best work, though. Some could be special abilities, a la Lifebloom - skills that add a dimension to a class that otherwise wouldn't be there; the mage that can heal in a pinch, or the warrior that can capture a spell and then unleash it later. Others could be proc-based, more powerful abilities that only manifest some of the time, but when they do, they change how you play; a glyph that lets an arcane mage proc a fire spell buff that lets them shift rotations and use double damage fire spells for 30 seconds or so.

We don't know yet what archaeology and the Path of the Titans will look like. I'm hoping, though, that they'll both really interesting, and not just +1% better than nothing.

Search Terms 101

One of the benefits of using Google Analytics to track blog stats is that their reporting will tell you what search terms people have followed to access your site. Now, mind you - I don't get a whole lot of search term traffic, but I do get some. Here, for your enjoyment, are some of the terms that people have plugged into google, only to find themselves faced with a meandering blog about a Dwarven paladin...

can i tank ragefire chasm - It's the absolutely lowest level instance in the game. You can enter RFC at level 8, in fact, two levels before you get your first talent point. Practically speaking, if you're a melee DPS class, and you have a bit of armor on your side, and your companions are willing to wait a second before starting to pile on to your target... yeah, you can tank Ragefire Chasm. Go on, then - just do it.

desolate desolacy - I really don't know what to say here, other than if you're looking for pictures of gender-confused emo tweens who are barely bearing up under the crushing despair of simply existing, then you've come to the wrong place. Have a kitteh picture instead:

making bosses - I find myself intrigued by this incomplete statement. "Making bosses... " what? Give you a raise? Let you take that three day weekend? Into hamburger? The mind simply boggles. Since I'm such a helpful soul, though, I'll give you the answer to at least one of those questions.

queuing for ragefire chasm - OK. I can understand being a new player, or a new tank, and wondering about whether you're ready or not to jump into your first group. "Can I tank RFC? I mean, really - can I handle it? Will I be able to hold aggro when the rogue pops out of stealh and starts making with the stabbity-stabbity? Will I miss a mob on the pull, resulting in the healer becoming a pile of something that resembles a potted meat product?" All those are good and understandable questions to ask yourself. On the other hand, not understanding how to queue for RFC? I mean... you know enough to realize that you can queue for the dungeon, but not enough to understand how to queue for the dungeon? That's a pretty exclusive group you're in, there. Just in case you've missed it, here's a few tidbits on the Dungeon Finder interface.

retribution pvp - I'm trying... trying... trying... mmm. Nope, got nothin' for ya, man. Sorry. Who do you think I am, Zach Yonzon?

soul%20silver - This one scares me. I always thought souls were gold, you know? Not silver. Gold is valuable, and pure, and a symbol of the light. Silver, on the other hand, is cheap, and tarnishes, and is intimately associated with the more despicable elements of Azeroth. I'm pretty sure that I once heard that every silver coin has been up a Warlock's nose at one point or another. Why? I don't know. Then summon demons, they dabble with fel magic, and you're asking me why they put silver coins up their noses? Probably because, when you're a Warlock, it's the most sensible thing that you'll do in any given day.